Why do we kiss at weddings? And why do we paint it?

The ceremony kiss, or first kiss, continues to be one of the most popular choices for wedding paintings. But, why? And why do we even kiss at weddings?

The Origins of the Ceremony Kiss

“You may now kiss the bride.” We hear it at most weddings, but why? I found the history of this tradition to actually be quite interesting.

The first kiss dates back to Ancient Rome. In those days, a public kiss was how one agreed to a deal. It was legally binding, much like signing a contract would be today. However, since most people were illiterate, signing contracts was pretty useless. So, they kissed instead. Why kissing instead of a high five or handshake or blood exchange? I have no idea.

In Rome, weddings were more secular and legal than religious, so the kiss was a natural part of all wedding ceremonies, but for legal reasons rather than romantic.

This tradition later shows up in the Bible, but a slightly different version. Many New Testament books reference a “holy kiss” or “kiss of peace”. For example, Romans 16:16 says “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” This holy kiss became a part of the Catholic and Christian religions, and was part of some church ceremonies. At the Episcopalian church I grew up attending, we would “greet one another with peace,” but that was typically just a handshake. Back in the day, that meant an actual kiss.

Back to weddings. In ye olden days, the priest would give the groom a holy kiss during the marriage ceremony. This was a sort of blessing. The groom would then pass this holy kiss on to his new wife, with the priest saying something along the lines of “you may now kiss your bride.” Over time, the groom-priest kiss was nixed. We are left with just the happy couple kissing.

It has become a tradition that has carried over into secular weddings as well, particularly in Western culture.

So, why do people get this moment painted?

I have my theories on this. The ceremony kiss is typically the very last thing that happens during the actual wedding ceremony. I think people view it as a threshold. That is the moment that ends the process of “getting married” and starts the state of “being married,” which is super exciting and pivotal (even if that’s not how it works legally). The first kiss marks the end of the ceremony, and the beginning of the rest of their lives. That’s’ something worth painting!

I’ve shared a few of my favorite first kiss paintings below. Enjoy!